Thanks so much, Hasse! Narrative poetry has fallen out of fashion as of late, but there’s a very long tradition of poetic storytelling that I enjoy trying to contribute to. So glad you liked it!
Once I’m done, I’m definitely going to string every part together into one long narrative.
The last four lines landed perfectly! I find the best way to describe an intense or violent moment is to give the bare lines and let the imagination of the reader fill in the gaps, it makes it far more impactful I think, and imo I you've done this masterfully.
Thanks a ton, Thomas! I agree with you that understatement often works best for those kinds of scenes. (I also think that poetry, being more economical with language, can sometimes lend itself better to this than prose, but can also make it more difficult!)
I agree with Hasse. Some of the weapons you mentioned were new to me and I love stories of chivalry. "Axes and arbalests, armets and swords,
Matchlocks and rondelles, mausers and stilettos:
A stock of weapons, strange and wonderous.:"
What a beautiful piece of writng. It remnded me of a combination of Poe and Lord Dunsany in your evocation of ancient things. Bravo and thanks for a great read.
I’m so glad you liked it, Sandy, and thank you so much for the kind words.
I wanted to try something like this for a bit, but was hesitant. Something Malcolm Guite said finally got me to start on it. He was mentioning that good stories deserve to get revived and told across generations in their own way. (Get their own comeback story, if you will.) It’s my hope to give this one a chance at that.
Ooh, great ending. I'm excited to see the next installment. This one has lots of varied and interesting details! Had to look up some of your 'weapons and items' lines, which was fun - hadn't heard of rondelles before.
Thanks so much! Yeah, it was my hope they'd come off as kind of odd. To me, this is a very weird manor. It mostly functions as you'd expect, but with some strange details inside. Honestly I've been waiting to get to this part of the story for awhile now. That makes it a lot more fun but also a lot more daunting; I'm probably going to obsess over details all the more!
Thanks very much! I'll let you know but in a direct message in case others want to guess. Part of the reason why this update took so long is that I wanted to go here specifically for photographs for this part.
The listing of all the weaponry was awesome. (The images were like the icing on the cake!)
I'm surprised at how gripping this was to me as an action scene. With some exceptions, it is not typically what I associate poetry with.
This was a treat. Looking forward to what's next and to one day re-read them from beginning to end.
Thanks so much, Hasse! Narrative poetry has fallen out of fashion as of late, but there’s a very long tradition of poetic storytelling that I enjoy trying to contribute to. So glad you liked it!
Once I’m done, I’m definitely going to string every part together into one long narrative.
The last four lines landed perfectly! I find the best way to describe an intense or violent moment is to give the bare lines and let the imagination of the reader fill in the gaps, it makes it far more impactful I think, and imo I you've done this masterfully.
Thanks a ton, Thomas! I agree with you that understatement often works best for those kinds of scenes. (I also think that poetry, being more economical with language, can sometimes lend itself better to this than prose, but can also make it more difficult!)
I agree with Hasse. Some of the weapons you mentioned were new to me and I love stories of chivalry. "Axes and arbalests, armets and swords,
Matchlocks and rondelles, mausers and stilettos:
A stock of weapons, strange and wonderous.:"
What a beautiful piece of writng. It remnded me of a combination of Poe and Lord Dunsany in your evocation of ancient things. Bravo and thanks for a great read.
I’m so glad you liked it, Sandy, and thank you so much for the kind words.
I wanted to try something like this for a bit, but was hesitant. Something Malcolm Guite said finally got me to start on it. He was mentioning that good stories deserve to get revived and told across generations in their own way. (Get their own comeback story, if you will.) It’s my hope to give this one a chance at that.
Excellent, no wonder I heard echoes of Dunsany; you're tapping into a rich vein of writing. I'll be following as you write.
Wonderful build up to the shock ending!
Thanks, Marian! Eh, based on a Grimm story. They can be kinda high in body count. :)
I remember that. We had - when I was a child - an unexpurgated version of the tales. Gruesome! Grimdark before the (appropriate) term was coined.
There was an international cartoon that turned a handful of those into a miniseries. Gave me nightmares for decades!
Well done with the buildup! It felt like a breath being slowly drawn, then exhaled in force.
I'm so glad you read it that way! We're getting into the meat of the matter now; no turning back from here on out!
Ooh, great ending. I'm excited to see the next installment. This one has lots of varied and interesting details! Had to look up some of your 'weapons and items' lines, which was fun - hadn't heard of rondelles before.
Thanks so much! Yeah, it was my hope they'd come off as kind of odd. To me, this is a very weird manor. It mostly functions as you'd expect, but with some strange details inside. Honestly I've been waiting to get to this part of the story for awhile now. That makes it a lot more fun but also a lot more daunting; I'm probably going to obsess over details all the more!
This whole series is seriously impressive...can't wait for the next one!
Thanks a ton, ernie! I hope it makes for fun reading.
Lovely Job. Where are the pictures from?
Thanks very much! I'll let you know but in a direct message in case others want to guess. Part of the reason why this update took so long is that I wanted to go here specifically for photographs for this part.