They don’t call it the silly season for nothing.
Growing up, my winter holidays were nothing short of exceptional. …Or so my recollections tell me. I’m sure they were plenty stressful for my parents, but I really enjoyed the time off school, seeing my relatives and getting into the kind of trouble that would become our family stories.
One particular Thanksgiving, I was a day late getting back into town. I was living about five hours away from home and had stopped at a friend’s house to play in a small friendly poker tournament before the holidays. (This was in the early 2000s, when Texas Hold ‘Em was a fever from which many in my demographic suffered.) More people showed up than we planned, and although I came out the winner, it was 3 AM by the time we wrapped up. I won huge but was in no state to drive, so I napped—you know what, I don’t even remember where—and got an early start in the morning.
I proceeded to drive through the most terrible Thanksgiving Day blizzard I can remember. There was no seeing the road or steering after awhile, you just gripped the wheel to give your hands something to do and hoped you didn’t end up making the news. At some point on the state road south, I squinted my eyes and started screaming. It was that bad.
My mother was pissed I showed up a day late. My dad, knowing the game, copied her sentiment but I could tell he was a little amused. He wanted to know how much I won.
Those were great holidays, but they’re no more. Now, mine are a little weird. They’ve become more difficult, and people sometimes get treated unfairly. Nasty stuff is sometimes said. I still eagerly anticipate this time of year, but I dread it a little, too.
Mind you, I’ve got it easy. Hospital visits are rare and no one’s called the police for a very long time. But I do find the social and commercial pressure to have a good time a little hard to take sometimes. For others, I know the holidays can be demanding, difficult and for some, impossible to face.
I’d just like to remind myself by reminding you of that old stoic koan about separating what is and is not within our control. And how we navigate the season matters—to us, sure, but also to others. However difficult it is to muster in the moment, a kind word said to a struggling hostess will often leave an impression for decades. Trust me—it’s been twenty years since I’ve had those kinds of jobs and I still very much remember.
I suppose I’m saying that if your family can’t exactly be counted on to be there for you, then try to be there for total strangers. Tip the ol’ Karmic scales a little. It might provide the impetus you needed to lighten up a little, and it’ll often be appreciated in ways you’ll never fathom.
I’m still working on my new series and hope you’ll consider following along if you haven’t already. As for today, I just wanted to stop in and wish you a great holiday season—especially if you’ll be staring down a few challenges between now and New Year’s.
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